by Amy McGarry
Kids!
They are disobedient, disrespectful oafs!
Noisy, crazy, dirty, lazy, loafers!
Why can’t they be like we were,
Perfect in every way?
What’s the matter with kids today?
Do you recognize these lyrics? If yes, you were probably in your high school’s musical theater production of “Bye Bye Birdie.” Either that, or you are old enough to have seen the movie versions that came out in 1963 and 1995.
Although “Bye Bye Birdie” came out in the 60s, it’s set in 1958 and is based loosely on Elvis Presley being drafted into the U.S. Army in 1957. Its themes explore youth challenging societal norms and reflect the shifting values of the 1960s youth culture, including the rise of rock and roll.
I grew up in the 70s and 80s, after the cultural revolution of the 1960s. Rock and roll music was mainstream. Men with very long hair were all over album covers and sex and drugs were all over TV and movies. So, it’s hard for me to imagine how Elvis Presley’s rise to fame could have been shocking or controversial. Especially since my mom always loved Elvis. She was still a teenager herself when he became popular. My brother remembers jumping up and down as a little kid joining my mom dancing to Elvis music on the stereo.
As an older adult, this same mom was mortified when her little boy became a teenager and was the first male in our large, extended family to grow his hair long. Apparently Elvis and his pelvis was one thing. A long-haired hippie in the family was quite another. Instead of my mother playing Elvis on the stereo, it was my brother blasting The Who’s “My Generation:”
People try to put us down (talkin’ bout my generation)
Just because we get around (talking about my generation)
And so it continues. The older generation disparaging the new. It’s a timeless phenomenon. So timeless, it dates back to ancient Greece. Complaints about disrespectful, rebellious youth go back in writing as far as the 8th century BC in ancient Greece, “When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful and impatient of restraint.” (Hesiod, 8th century BC)
In fact, researchers have coined this phenomenon the “Kids These Days Effect.” It’s a cognitive bias where older generations “falsely” remember themselves as having been better as teenagers. This causes us to perceive the current youth as worse, or less than – less intelligent, less moral, and less respectful.
What we understand better these days is what normal adolescent brain development entails. Yes, I’m arguing that teens are literally wired to be bad. Brain science indicates that the developing teen brain is prone to risk-taking and rebellion. Add the hormonal influence on mood swings and it’s no wonder teens get such a bad rap.
While my own teenage daughter is a perfect angel (ahem), I nevertheless read and hear all kinds of horror stories about today’s youth who face a whole different set of challenges, thanks to cell phones, social media, and AI. I mean really, what’s the matter with kids these days?
Full confession: teenagers scare me. I used to be a high school teacher. I quit after three years of soul-crushing behavior and attitudes from the kids in my classroom. (Shout out to all the high school teachers in the world. You are heroes and saints.)
So, when I got the text from my kid one afternoon as she was attending winter Speech and Debate club, telling me the coach was in dire need of tournament judges, my first thought was H-E-double-hockey-sticks no. Immediately the guilt set in. Having been a class advisor and a drama club advisor when I was a high school teacher, I knew first-hand the value of parent volunteers in club activities. I also have this annoying desire to be helpful in general. I took a deep breath and allowed myself to be wrangled in.
I was assigned to judge the Congress category. I literally had no idea what to expect.
When I arrived at my assigned room, I saw that most of the boys were dressed in suits. Hmmm, you don’t see that often. Most of the girls were also dressed up. I discovered quickly that Congress competitors follow parliamentary procedure and formally refer to each other as “Senator.” They simulate a legislative assembly, debating for and against actual congressional bills. I found the process educational and fascinating. I also found the debaters, these teenagers, incredibly impressive. They were good researchers with well-developed arguments. They were also talented public speakers.
At the end of that first round, most of the debaters approached me with a smile, looked me straight in the eye, proffered their hand for shaking, and thanked me for judging. Hmmm… impressive indeed.
I loved the judging experience so much I volunteered to judge in all of the tournaments. There were days when I judged almost every category, from impromptu speeches to oral interpretation. I saw the gamut of types of talent in today’s youth. I left each tournament with my heart warmed and feeling hopeful. I began to trust that the future is in very good hands.
Speech and Debate season is now finished for the year. Spring is the season of poetry, and my kid competed in her high school’s Poetry Slam, which was held in the school library. The librarian set the mood in the venue with black tablecloths, dimmed lights, and battery candles. The six-member high school jazz band added to the mood by playing music before the poetry performances.
As I sat at my “candle-lit” table, watching these teenagers play some very impressive, very adult smooth jazz, it dawned on me. I had seen the keyboard player conducting his fifth-grade class musical performance at their elementary school graduation. He will be graduating from high school this year. And I was recently surprised to see the saxophone player working at a grocery store. I have been seeing him in my daughter’s schools since visiting their first-grade class. He’s graduating too.
When it was time for the Poetry Slam to start, the charming and funny MC was the keyboard player/fifth grade conductor. I was so proud of him. And he’s not even my kid.
Then came the poets. While they ranged in talent as poets and performers, each and every one of them showed so much strength and courage to even approach the microphone. I was proud of all of them. Especially my kid.
Tears came to my eyes as my daughter took second place, and I had an epiphany. The kids are more than alright. The kids are amazing. And our future is in excellent hands.
As for those behavior issues that supposedly drove me out of teaching high school, I now blame the “One Bad Apple” theory. Sometimes just one or two misbehaving kids makes it feel like it’s the whole batch. In reality, for the greatest part, the kids were alright. They were more than alright. They’re always alright.
Amy McGarry grew up in Spokane Valley, Washington. After a 20 year hiatus, she moved back to Spokane Valley where she lives with her husband, daughter and two cats. She is the author of I am Farang: Adventures of a Peace Corps Volunteer in Thailand, available on Amazon.com.
