by Amy McGarry
One of my all-time favorite memes that’s been going around Facebook for several years hits home hard for me as it speaks truth to one of my greatest struggles in life. That’s not hyperbole. The struggle is real. The meme states:
“Who knew the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook every single night for the rest of your life.”
The vast number of times I’ve seen this meme reposted tells me it resonates for many of us. Finally, we are free to admit that something that should be so easy, is hard. For some people at least, including me.
On further reflection, that’s just one small example of a much bigger epidemic facing modern day Americans. In today’s world, we encounter more decisions on a daily basis than ever. When I was growing up, we had four television channels. Back then, it was a travesty if two shows you wanted to watch happened to air at the same time. How would you decide what to watch? You know where I’m going with this. Compare that to the decision-making from hundreds of channels on cable TV. But apparently those hundreds of channels were still not enough to satisfy our need for more choices. No, we needed Netflix, Hulu, Prime, and so many other streaming platforms that I am cross-eyed.
If you’re like me and aim to make decision-making a little simpler, you stick with one streaming platform. I’m old school, so I stick with Netflix. But this “simpler” decision-making strategy is an illusion. For it merely leads to yet more choices. Let me illustrate this point with a couple of more Facebook memes.
“I spend more time tryna find something to watch on Netflix than watching something on Netflix.”
“Going down to Blockbuster, picking a movie, renting it and buying snacks was still quicker than finding a good film on Netflix.”
By now you’re probably thinking I spend far too much time on Facebook, which is true. In fact, I completely ignore my Instagram, X, and TikTok accounts. Why? Because if I stick to Facebook, that’s one less decision I have to make.
Despite simplifying my life by sticking to Netflix and Facebook, I still suffer the consequences of too many choices. It’s exhausting. Thus, the term researchers have coined to describe these consequences is apt: “decision fatigue.”
It turns out, we humans have what can be described as decision making muscles in our brains. Imagine holding an 8-pound weight in your hand. Now imagine that every decision you make during the day is like doing a bicep curl – lifting that weight up. Decide what to eat for breakfast, lift the weight. Decide what to wear, lift the weight. Keep lifting that weight with every little decision you make during the day and guess how that bicep may feel once the day is over. Fatigued. You might not even be able to lift that weight at all by the end of the day. And that, dear reader, is exactly what happens to those decision-making muscles in your brain. They become fatigued to the point of debilitation.
So, what does a debilitated decision-making muscle look like? According to researchers, the symptoms of decision fatigue include irritability, difficulty focusing or brain fog, poor decisions, indecision, procrastination, irrational behavior, feeling overwhelmed, and the desire to avoid further choices. No wonder we don’t want to decide what to make for dinner at the end of the day!
Technically it’s called “decision paralysis.” It’s when the brain freezes, making even small choices difficult. Like deciding what to make for dinner.
Before I share all the strategies for combatting decision fatigue, I want to first acknowledge that not everyone has this problem deciding what to make for dinner and that there are strategies for making that decision easier. But trust me, in my case, it’s complicated. First, of the three people in my family, no one likes the same foods. At least one of us is always going to be unhappy with the choice. Second, I don’t like to cook. Therefore, I will only cook what I feel like cooking, which makes a pre-planned menu pointless. Third, since I haven’t pre-planned the menu, who knows what’s in the refrigerator on any given evening. Finally, my husband refuses to tell me what sounds good to him on any given day. But I digress.
Back to the good news: there are strategies for preventing decision fatigue, even if they don’t help me decide what to make for dinner. Here are a few:
Automate and simplify options by creating routines for your morning, meals, and clothes to reduce daily choices.
Limit options by using a capsule wardrobe or standard grocery list.
Schedule breaks and incorporate nonnegotiable rest, walks, or deep breathing.
Get support and ask trusted people for input or guidance.
Prioritize rest by treating it as a necessary part of your day.
Seek professional help if decision fatigue is interfering with your quality of life.
While all these strategies can be useful for preventing the symptoms of decision fatigue, they don’t help with all the decisions we make on a daily basis. One strategy I have found that helps me make a choice, is the Buddhist idea that “there is no wrong decision.” Except when it comes to what’s for dinner. Just ask my husband and kid.
Since I don’t want to cook anyway, maybe we’ll just order out tonight. Now, just let me decide where we should order from….
Amy McGarry grew up in Spokane Valley, Washington. After a 20 year hiatus, she moved back to Spokane Valley where she lives with her husband, daughter and two cats. She is the author of I am Farang: Adventures of a Peace Corps Volunteer in Thailand, available on Amazon.com.
