Bob Johnson
I have lots of questions, but do you have any answers?
HUCKLEBERRIES
Did you go huckleberry hunting this season?
Did you find some?
Enough to bake a pie?
Or to make some jam?
Did you know that, while huckleberries can be found in parts of Washington, Oregon, Montana, and the provinces of British Columbia and Alberta, the bushes are the most widespread and prolific in Idaho?
You do know that huckleberries are not the same as blueberries, right?
Are you aware of the two primary ways to tell the difference — color and flavor?
Did you know that the colors of huckleberries encompass various shades of red, blue and purple, while blueberries tend to be exclusively dark blue?
Did you know that a huckleberry tends to be both sweet and tart, whereas a blueberry will lack the tart characteristic?
Have you ever wondered why you’ve never seen a “U-pick” huckleberry field?
Could it be because it’s virtually impossible to domesticate huckleberries?
Isn’t it amazing how many uses there are for huckleberries at the breakfast table — from huckleberry pancakes and waffles to huckleberry butter and syrup?
Have you ever thought about having a huckleberry-focused lunch, perhaps a salad tossed in a huckleberry vinaigrette, accompanied by a cup of huckleberry-infused tea?
Wouldn’t it be fun to complete an all-day huckleberry feed with a dinner of pork tenderloin with a wild huckleberry reduction, grilled trout with a huckleberry coulis, or beef ribs brushed with huckleberry barbecue sauce?
No dinner is complete without dessert, right?
If calories are no object, would you consider a slice of huckleberry pie, a bowl of huckleberry cobbler or a scoop of huckleberry ice cream?
Aren’t we now so hungry that we should move on to a different category of questions?
FOOD
Wait, this is a different category?
Have you seen the new colors being used on the exterior of Del Taco restaurants around the area?
Specifically, have you seen the new shade of green painted on the buildings?
Isn’t it the most unappetizing color you’ve ever seen?
Is it supposed to match the color of their green hot sauce?
Did they have to change the color of that sauce because the Federal Drug Administration is taking steps to phase out synthetic food dyes in the U.åS. food supply?
Did someone at the Environmental Protection Agency misread the memo and tell Del Taco to change the color of its paint?
Aren’t these the type of hard-hitting questions you expect us journalists to ask?
Have you now lost your appetite for huckleberries?
And everything else?
DRIVING
Because everyone agrees that the Spokane area has a pothole problem, why aren’t concrete (or blacktop) steps taken to solve it?
Is it about money?
Is there not enough money available to fund a fix?
If that’s the case, wouldn’t it be a good idea to seek a creative way to generate more revenue for the city and town governments that have pothole problems?
For instance, couldn’t cameras be installed at some of the busier intersections?
Couldn’t these cameras be used to photograph cars making right turns that roll through – or barely even slod down for – red lights?
Couldn’t the cities and towns then mail traffic tickets to the offenders?
Given the number of offenders, wouldn’t the ticket revenue pay for the cameras pretty quickly?
Once the cameras are paid for, couldn’t the ongoing revenue be used to fund pothole repair?
Wouldn’t those cameras serve an additional purpose – to motivate people to actually stop at red lights?
Might that also address the question we all ask on occasion: “Where’s a cop when you need one?”
On a related driving safety matter, why do so many drivers opt not to use the turn signals on their cars?
Are they afraid they’ll burn out the lights?
Wouldn’t it be safer for everyone if everyone did use their turn signals?
And isn’t that especially true for the car making the turn, since the purpose of the turn signals is to alert others where you’re going so they don’t attempt to go there at the same time?
Wasn’t this one of the basic concepts taught in driver’s education class?
What’s that?
You say they no longer have driver’s ed in many high schools?
Well, doesn’t that explain a lot?
GEOGRAPHY
How do you define the Inland Northwest?
Does it encompass eastern Washington and northern Idaho exclusively, or does it extend into western Montana?
It’s pretty easy to figure out where western Montana begins, but where, exactly, do eastern Washington and northern Idaho begin?
Did you know that some people consider certain areas of Oregon and British Columbia to be part of the Inland Northwest?
Further, did you know that some refer to the Inland Northwest as the “Inland Empire?”
Wouldn’t this be confusing for people moving to the area from California’s Inland Empire?
Were you aware that the late Spokane historian, George Fuller, described our Inland Empire as the basin between the Rockies and the Cascades?
Isn’t it interesting that this basin, which is home to a very French-sounding city called Coeur d’Alene and a very French-sounding winery called Pend d’Oreille, is about the same size as France?
Speaking of France, why would an American fly there, seek out a Parisian café and order an Americano?
COFFEE
Why does one prominent coffee chain use the word “tall” to describe its smallest drink size?
Why does that same chain offer a size that’s actually smaller than the tall — called a “short” — but not include it on its menu?
Continuing our questions about that same chain, why does it use English to describe its two smallest sizes (short and tall), but Italian to describe its three largest sizes (“grande,” “venti” and “trenta”)?
Honestly, doesn’t “grande” sound more Spanish than Italian?
Could that be because I took Spanish classes in school but not Italian classes?
Even though Italian nomenclature is part of the aforementioned coffee chain’s marketing and branding efforts to suggest an association with the perceived sophistication of Italian coffee culture, why is its default dark roast from the Indonesian island of Sumatra?
Are you getting the impression that I don’t like this particular coffee chain?
Would you be surprised to learn that I actually love it?
Isn’t there something to be said for product consistency – that you can depend on getting a good cup of Verona (if you ask to substitute it for Sumatra) no matter where you go?
That said, couldn’t these omnipresent coffee houses of America learn something from their counterparts in Europe?
Don’t the shops in Europe offer a much wider array of baked goods such as cakes, bars, cookies, muffins and pastries in multiple flavors?
Don’t those baked goods make keeping track of calories much easier by enabling us to eat just one of them and be done with eating for the day?
Isn’t the coffee culture in Europe a good way to compare the general culture there with the general culture in America?
Don’t Europeans sit, sip and savor their morning espresso or cappuccino, whereas we Americans embrace the fast-paced grab-and-go nature of mobile ordering?
Alternately, aren’t many of us in the Inland Northwest — especially during the winter months — more likely to grab our cup o’ joe at a locally owned drive-through coffee hut?
Doesn’t the fact that we live in a four-seasons climate (five, if you count pothole repair season) make working in such huts uncomfortable, given that constant rush of arctic air encountered whenever the sliding window is opened during the winter?
Do the employees at the “bikini coffee” drive-throughs get paid more during the winter?
In a sense, wouldn’t that be considered hazard pay?
In states where biological boys are allowed to play in girls’ sports, are men allowed to work in bikini coffee drive-throughs?
POLITICS
Is it best to avoid discussing politics, lest it lead to a heated discussion?
Or an all-out brawl?
Doesn’t the same hold true for discussions about religion?
Especially at the Thanksgiving dinner table?
Unless your goal is to have a lot of leftovers?
A curious nature and willingness to ask hard-hitting questions has resulted in Bob Johnson receiving 99 national writing awards over the course of his career in journalism. Now a resident of North Idaho, he and his family enjoy exploring the Inland Northwest, and Johnson is asking lots of questions and sharing his observations with Huckleberry Press readers.